The Imaginary World

I’ve been reading Looking for Anne of Green Gables which I ordered from Amazon a couple of weeks ago, which is effectively a biography of the author of the Anne series, Lucy Maud Montgomery, and the factors which contributed to the conception of the book. Even though Maud lived in a small town on Prince Edward Island, Canada, over a hundred years ago, surprisingly I am recognising a few similarities between her and I.

This is not to do with her upbringing in a small provincial town, being raised by her strict grandparents. She also led quite a lonely life until her early thirties, but I don’t so much identify with that either – I see myself more in her temperament, habits and view of the world. The author describes Maud as a person who lived in a colourful world in her imagination as a form of escapism from her dreary, monotonous life, and she used fiction as a “wish fulfilment dream”, because in writing “the constraints of real life can smoothly be turned into their opposites”. I certainly am not describing my life as dreary or monotonous, but I empathise with Maud and the way her writing became an escape for her, and she possessed the power to transform the disappointments she experienced in her own life into joys and triumphs for the characters she lived through, the way she dreamed her life would turn out.

I see some similarities between our personalities also. I think, like Maud, I have the tendency to “subtly close off [my] feelings”. Maud’s universe is described as being “fuelled by dreams”, and “the rest of the world had a way of becoming peripheral” for her, and she possessed a certain “aloofness”, whether consciously or unconsciously.

I’m sure I can appear to be aloof to strangers, but I’m sure that for Maud, like me, this came down to shyness. I take a while to warm up to people and have a tendency to keep myself guarded until I know someone exceedingly well. Being aloof can make this a long process however, and I walk a fragile line between keeping my true feelings to myself, and revealing just enough, bit by bit, so a friendship can develop, slowly but surely. When someone and I are “kindred spirits”, however, I am fiercely loyal. I guess I am just not interested in superficial, fleeting friendships. I’d much rather spend time with people I’ve gotten to know over time and who accept me.

I also need to live in the real world a little more, as I’m sure Maud would have benefited from. I tend to always be daydreaming about the future, how I want my life to turn out, and I dwell on hopes and possibilities. I’ve heard time and time again that happiness can be found in enjoying the small, everyday moments and being present in the now. This is definitely something I am striving to do.

In the end, Maud’s social withdrawal and the vivid imagination in which she dwelt gave birth to a timeless classic, which still touches the minds and hearts of people across the world, transcending generational and cultural differences. She found a way to escape the disappointments and hardships of her life. But on the other hand, she surely would have missed out on a lot of what the world has to offer, and the joy of appreciating the present moment.

I suppose all I can do is try and achieve a balance.